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Fiance's Friend

I think FF is jealous of his best friend's relationship with you. Somehow I get the feeling he'll kind of always be a sore spot..always wanting to cause problems simply because he has no respect for anyone else...he's self centered.

I think your fiance needs to tell him to stop living in the past...he'll never move forward if he doesn't. His priorities are thoroughly mixed up or he'd be trying to work on his marriage instead of screwing it up further, and that's what he's intending on doing with the relationship with you and your fiance.

I'd sit down with your future hubby again and say "listen...im really concerned that because his marriage is not important to him, that he's trying to destroy ours...I'd really feel better about us just not giving him the chance to do that by slowing distancing ourselves from him" If you have to, reitterate your feelings again. It's obvious your fiance is a little more mature and respectful than friend is, so bring that up. Hopefully you'll get him to see how much they've grown apart.

I feel for you..I know those kinds of situations are annoying as well as hurtful.. Good luck getting this guy out of your hair.

I spoke to my fiance the other day and he seemed to think that FF wasn't really saying anything that often? It's practically everytime he calls, he will refer to one occasion or one girl. I am now writing it down so that I can again talk to my fiance by this time have exactly what he said and when , because when he asks for references I seem to forget exact quotes. Good or Bad Idea?

The problem with them seperating in friendship is they are also business partners, so they need to talk everyday. Otherwise slowly distancing ourselves would be my first option!

Thanks for your advice and encouraging words.

I learned something very valuable recently in a situation with my DBF. Guess what? You don't get to manage your fiance's relationships, not even the one with this disrespectful friend.

What you can do is remove yourself from the room during speaker phone conversations. If you don't like what he says, don't listen to it.

You can tell your fiance how you feel about this guy and you can let him know that you value your relationship at a level this FF would not understand, but you don't get to control your fiance's relationships.

If you need further information on the situation that happened with my DBF and me, I'll find the link to the post on Couples Coping from a month or so ago, and then I'll let you know what's happened since then.

I agree with Swoosh. This is a relationship that you cannot get involved in. Remove yourself and let them have their friendship.

If you trust your fiance, then it doesn't matter. He knows this guy has damaged relationships, and he probably has some insight about why. It doesn't mean that your fiance will behave badly with him or that he holds the same values.